On rare occasions I find out what the Rest of the Place has been on about, way after everybody else, and–this is the shocking part–there’s actually something to it.
But, as usual, it’s not quite as described…
In this instance I’m talking about caffeine, specifically from that source known as “coffee.” Coffee! For decades I have shunned its bitter taste, in favor of sweet Barq’s Root Beer.
But for Christmas, someone gave me a gift basket which contained a little bag of Godiva Brand flavored coffee. Not one to shun anything that says Godiva on it (unless it contains some kind of fruit), I had to give this a go, even though I had plenty of misgivings. After all, all the coffee I’d ever tasted was horrendously bitter and about as drinkable as battery acid. This fact was made worse by the fact that I grew up hearing that having it black was “the only way” and that adding cream and sugar was “destroying a good cup of coffee.”
Ignoring all that brainwashing, I proceeded to dump in some sugar and Coffee Mate, and to my surprise, it did kill that absolutely awful Bitrex-potency nastiness…and the stuff was drinkable and fairly good.
Then I found out why people say that caffeine pills are a joke, and that the amount of caffeine in Barq’s is laughable, etc. etc. etc. Talk about being AWAKE!! DAYUM! And it works FAST! None of this drinking the Barq’s, and then slowly waking up over the next 2 hours.
So now I’m in on the Secret. I have found out how people can come into j*bs, at ineffably godawful times of the m*rning, and seem to be all full of vigor. It’s all phony vigor from their multiple cups of coffee!
But I’ve also noticed that I have found out how people can get so damned jumpy for nothing, and be full of mindless energy, yet have no ability to really focus. And why so many people say they can’t sleep worth a damn no matter what time of day it is!!
My first response was to just have Barq’s, which leaves me without the feeling that I’m being tasered at a low current. But, then I found out something else that sucks. For the last year or so, I’d had a constant, very annoying, low-level headache going on. But lately it had finally stopped. But it came right back when I drank the Barq’s…it’s a direct correlation. I figure that probably that’s some kind of reaction to the huge amount of sucrose that’s in pop (about 1/4 cup’s worth per can!).
So, overall, I’m not that thrilled with Coffee’s effects (although I do like the insta-awake bit, I can do without the being jarred all night part). But it beats getting a headache, and if I just drink plain water I never do get any zip. So meh. Or should I say, Mehmehmehmehmeh!!!!!!!!
*jumps around spasmodically with purposeless energy that as a webmaster I have nothing physical to do to burn it off*