Yes, you could say I expected this.

Of course, it has nothing to do with Bush feeding Powell a bunch of erroneous data about Iraq to tell the U.N., no, he wouldn’t have been at all perturbed by that…

On a certain forum, I’ve often commented that I will pay attention to Google’s “webmaster guidelines” when they pay attention to MY spidering guidelines. But, in order for that to happen, I have to officially publish some. So, here they are, paraphrased from my forum posts:

My Guidelines For Search Engines

1) If you spider my sites, you must rank all their pages #1 for all their relevant terms.

2) If you spider this site, you must immediately pay me $1 Million USD.

Their guidelines deserve exactly the same amount of respect as mine. And until I see that $1 Million USD check (wire transfers also accepted), and my #1 rankings, I will consider it to be fact that they do NOT respect my guidelines, and theirs will be treated in kind.

On the other hand, if I DO get my $1 Million and my #1s, I will gladly leave all the pork-product production to Hormel. And move to Hawaii.

It’s fall, so I figured I’d better add a bit of life to this site.

Summer was…er…a mixed bag. In contrast to the prior post, sales dropped way off in Sept, and while they have increased since then, I figure it won’t be cruisin’ properly until after the election. Election years are a real spikey thing. First there’s the breath-holding & economic tanking (which everyone forgets happens every time there can’t be an incumbent after the election [although this time is unarguably worse than when Clinton had to step aside]). Then, after the election, half or more of the people are glad that whoever wins, did win, so they celebrate–by buying like mad!

So I’m sitting here waiting, with my merchandise…

On a brighter note, I finally bought 50 daffs (and some tulips) for myself AND got them planted. Usually I buy bulbs with the intention of planting them, but end up selling them. Not just for the money, but because planting is w*rk! So it will be nice in the spring to see a new daff patch, bordered by some tulips.

I half-expect that next spring I’ll be thinking, “I should have put those up for sale…”

Celebrating a new gross-income record at ScalesEtc. this month!

I wouldn’t have expected June to be the month to make the first recordbreak this year (as a fairly new site, ScalesEtc. is due for *many* recordbreakers as it grows). But it’s done it.

What’s more to say, other than:

w00t!!

But after buying a Ped Egg Pro, I realized I was actually equipped to write one. So here it is.

My Ped Egg Review:

AD CLAIMS:

Safe to touch
Beautiful feet after ONE use!
No mess

So, could it put up to the claiming? Here’s what I found:

Safe? Yes, with normal handling. It is a type of blade, though, so if you try hard enough to cut yourself with it, it could happen.

Beautiful feet with one use?? Well…that depends on your feet! If you usually wear shoes outside, and slippers inside, then yeah. The Ped Egg will have no trouble taking care of that, and the “emery pad” will put on a nice, smooth finish. If, on the other hand, you are like me and like to go barefoot everywhere…using shoes only to gain admission into stores, rather than for style or to protect your feet, then it will take several uses to get the buildup of callus off.

On the other hand, if you do like to go barefoot all the time, you won’t *want* all the callus off, since that is nature’s “shoe” that is protecting your feet.

It is easy to control how much callus you remove with the PedEgg, so you can take it all off if you want or leave some so that the gravel doesn’t feel like knives when you go outside barefoot

I would recommend applying some kind of moisturizer after using the Ped Egg. Your feet will detect the increased moisture loss (callus does not lose moisture as fast as “new” skin) and form a hard surface quickly, if a lotion, petroleum jelly, or the like is not applied to keep that moisture in.

No Mess? It’s a lot less messy than a method that doesn’t have some kind of container, that’s for sure! But the Laws of Physics still apply–if you hold the Ped Egg with the openings (the “blade” side) down, some shavings will leak out. However, most of the callus-shaving operation can be done in such a way that the openings aren’t facing directly downwards.

The egg shape does make it easy to hold and control, and it’s very easy to use.

Overall I give the Ped Egg Pro 4.5 out of 5 stars.

A week or so ago, I took this year’s first ride on my riding mower. Luckily, it started right up. But something weird happened–it scalped the lawn! That shouldn’t have happened, because I set the deck at 4 inches…which should have been more than enough clearance for the high spots. Yet it not only didn’t clear them, it made them into clouds of dust!

The reason for that became clear when I put it away: There was a nearly-flat tire. That made the whole thing ride lower, and on an angle, to boot.

So I ignored that until yesterday. Yesterday, I decided to mow, and as soon as I took it out of the shed, the fact that I found myself sitting at a sharp angle reminded me of the tire. I took it down to the driveway, and considered my options. I could ride it to the gas station, risking the tire…or use a manual bike pump to reinflate the tire.

Not wanting to have to buy a new tire any time soon, I decided to use the bike pump. This is one of those kind where you have to push/pull a handle down and up, requiring either lots of arm muscles, or lots of bending and straightening (letting my body weight work for me on the downstroke, but having to straighten back up to start the next stroke).

OMG what a bunch of work! They “only” need 12 pounds of pressure…but that’s a whole lot when the tire is big instead of a thin bike-sized one!! I gave it about 20 pumps and it looked a lot firmer…but when I checked with the tire guage, it didn’t even register! I thought the guage had to be malfunctioning. Then I tested it on one of my car’s tires. It wasn’t malfunctioning…

40 pumps later, the tire was back to full inflation. Then I got the bright idea of checking the other 3!

2 of them were down, too, at about 1/2 the correct pressure. Fortunately, they were the front ones, which are smaller than the back. But still, they needed 15 pumps apiece.

Next time one of those tires goes flat, I think I’ll just pump enough air in to let me ride to the gas station…

Cool–WP had saved a copy of this post for me!! So, here it is after all!

This week started with craziness and idiots and the trend kept going all week long.

First, some junk happened that I won’t mention further here.

Then the other day, a merchant got the notion that it should decide what it’s worthwhile to spend MY money on. Did they overcharge? Ship 10,000 things I didn’t want? Noooo! The opposite. They refused to sell what I DID want! So they’re fired.

And, despite their claims of having an “exclusive” on the machine I’m after, they do NOT have any such thing. They may have made a deal with that *particular* manufacturer, but there are several competing manufacturers, who surely have dealers who are not so jealous of someone who wants a private garden…and, the machine to delete the work of it.

In amongst all that, were other idiocies. I was shorted 3 items by a different place. Who didn’t know about it? Their billing department… So I had to deal with that. Did they email a confirmation that they read my emailed protests? Noooo…I was just about to send the check (sans cost of missing items) when surprise, a “claim number” arrived in my email with a request to include that number with the payment. The email had the title “claim”–even though my original email was titled “shortage in order!” I almost deleted it unopened–I figured it was spam. But something about the “from” name looked just *barely* legit, and I opened it.

And, yet another wholesaler held onto my order for 2 1/2 weeks before admitting to being sold out on an item. Thanks dudez for the notice! But at least the refund has come through.

A person returned some merchandise as defective. It’s clear that she broke it–the box was mashed. That’s the *inner* box. Shipping box, not mashed. So it had to have happened after the “customer” got it, unless the Post Office has invented a new way to dent inside boxes that were surrounded by peanuts–without affecting outer ones.

Another, more minor, irritation was reading a comment on Wordpress MU that said people who didn’t want to have to mess with their server’s root config ought to just “use [his] multi-user hack” for regular WordPress…saying that if someone couldn’t figure THAT out, they should just go with the version of WordPress hosted by WP itself (that’s the commie noncommercialiable version :p ).

Needless to say, when I went to the post with the “hack” in it, it was a pile of ununderstandable gibberish and non-explanations. Programmers love to put up stuff that’d take an MIT degree to understand and then call everyone a n00b for not getting it by osmosis *grrr* And of course, I have zero use for the commie version. If I want to have FUN, that’s what games are for. Sites are for money.

So I did the easier thing. Changed the server config file to prepare for the install of the full Wordpress MU setup! Yes that was easier. The config file has clue comments all through it! Unlike that unhelpful git’s hack.

I haven’t installed MU yet, but the supposedly-hard part should be done. But with any kind of program, I don’t relax until I see it running and not crashing.

I wouldn’t say changing the config is a “totally newb” operation, but it’s certainly not hard like he was making out. Reading the file plainly marked README gives plenty enough info. I had more trouble with vi…I hardly ever need to use it, so I had to look up the commands in Google. (Hint to people who find this while trying to find out how to use vi: Search for “vi commands” in G…)

Of course, I tried to find relief in the wonderful pixels of an old game. But, no dice even there! The game which had seemed so great 10 years ago–Pacific Theater of Operations–now strikes me as incredibly slow. I’m sure it’s partly because I instantly remembered exactly how to win.

The computer will OCDly send its entire Pacific Fleet at its objective, one small fleet at a time. ALL it takes to win, is to figure out the comp’s objective (easy to do), sail nearby with a full 16-ship fleet which has about 8 CVs in it, camp within easy airstrike range…and torpedo-bomb the blazes out of anything that dares to sail within range.

But the other problem is that between every operation, the ships’ crews require “shore leave” or their morale will drop (causing their fighting ability to start sucking), and if you push them too long, they’ll even get a “plague.” And, the ships have to be refueled often, unless you always sail at half-speed. So, most of the game is spent waiting for shore leaves, refuelings, and doing administrative junk.

It was fine and great when it was new and I actually used that time to think of my next move, but now I wish I had a hack that’d make them always have no fatigue and 100% fuel. Then I wouldn’t have all that infernal waiting. I’ll have to try to figure out the code. To heck with “realism,” the fun part is sinking all the enemy’s sh*t! So maybe tonight I’ll see if I can get the lead out of the thing.

Now…IE had better not crash…
*Hits “Publish”*

I had written a big post about it all…

And then, to top it off, just as I was putting the finishing touches on it, IE crashed (thanks to the GOOFLE toolbar, according to the crash notice) before I could hit post! I even did “select all” to try to save it, but when IE closed on me, that dumped too.

So bah.

I need a proper Pbbbbtt icon for the “mood” thingie, because that needs to be there along with the “Angry” one. And the default tongue-out one looks freaking playful, which is NOT the ticket.

Lately I can’t help but notice that more and more sites are being written in infinitessimally small type! Seriously–it’s no bigger than font size 1, and I’m sure some are coding in px (pixels) so they can get it even more miniscule.

What’s with them? Are they so unsure of themselves that they wish their words would disappear into the background? Don’t they want people to be able to read what they have to say??

Or is it something more sinister? Perhaps they have a secret deal with the reading-glasses manufacturers of the world. Maybe they want to convince people that they can’t see, and then the ad for glasses will “concidentally” appear later…

Or maybe they’re just following the latest STUPID design trend.
In any case, I always use FireFox to enlarge the font back to something reasonable–if I bother to stay on the site. But it’s nonsense to make readers do that. And readers won’t bother staying if they can go to a decently-designed site and get the info there!

I just came across this travesty of a word for the second time this year. Basically, it’s a dumb way to refer to how products are supposed to be set up on shelves.

PLAN - how they should be set up
O - a dumb article added to make the transition between two words sound even more retarded
GRAM - a diagram of the Plan.

Planogram.

Why do I cringe sooo hard, so violently, at this piece of corporatespeak?

Because it brings back memories. Memories of a j*b. A j*b at a small chain called Meijer. It was a stocking j*b. Of course, it sucked, but Meijer had/has traits that make an already lousy task worse! Like most physical stores, they think that stockpeople are some kind of magicians and buy about 2x what will fit on the shelves…and then say that you have to get everything on the shelves. And then they wonder why they find unrelated stuff, hiding behind all the things that hardly ever move. It’s cuz they won’t let people put anything in the back, and the shelf will only hold 12 boxes, so those other 6 boxes that are in the incoming case have to be stuffed somewhere, dammit!

But the above paragraph is just NORMAL for a stock j*b. Meijer went beyond the normal crazy, and firmly into puke territory.

And the “planogram” was the base ingredient in the syrup of ipecac which was liberally spread amongst their employees. For from this travesty, sprang others, like these management tropes:

* Calling every product’s planned spot it’s “home.” And using the word with the tone of voice which one would use when referring to a tiny kitten, or super-cute puppy.

* Saying that products found in unexpected places are “lost.” (Same tone of voice for this.)

* Calling the practice of sticking failed magic tricks (stuff that won’t fit where there’s no room) in places where there IS room “abuse.” (!! Gah…)

* Uttering phrases like “Aw…this is lost. Will you help it find its way home?” and not realizing how totally insane and pathetic that sounds.

* Not expecting people to want to slap them for saying crap like the above sentence. And not realizing that people DO want to do just that.

* Wondering why the local Meijer’s turnover was, at the time I was there, higher than any grocery store…and, higher than most clothes stores (those are Meijer’s two biggest categories).

I thought the word “planogram” would die where it was born, on the foul shores of the Meijer company. But noooo…

Today I saw it used in a testimonial for this company. Eby-Brown is a supplier to the local convenience stores. One of their customers was praising the Eby-Brown “planograms.” Which brings to mind two things.

Who the hell let that hideous term into the wild?!

And, what the heck is going on, with the supplier deciding the shelf layout?!?? Listening to suppliers’ hints is one thing, letting them actually do the layout, no, that’s nuts…the supplier isn’t going to be as familiar with a particular store’s customers as the owner (except if a store is under new ownership)!

Oh, well, so much for that. But if some supplier tries to get me to use that term, he will get himself 10,000 anti-convincing points, due to reminding me about how Meijer’s sucked, and how the “planogram” was at the root of a lot of the extra-disgusting parts of their rotten culture at the store level!

Not to mention that the term itself is so kiddie-sounding that it makes me gag. It made me gag the first time I heard it, and I hadn’t even realized (at that point) how it spawned a whole other bunch of preschool-level baloney at that store…